The Miller Menagerie

I know I haven’t been blatant enough.
Drew works for the most evil and ridiculous company known to man You don’t get that rich helping the poor first. Today, he’s been at work over 12 hours. I needed him home hours ago, but at the least an hour ago. A Zipcar has been reserved and paid for since 7pm, yet he’s walking out of The Borg’s door at 7:45. That’s just not good enough. You want someone to work 12 hour days and neglect their family? You better pay them a heck of a lot better than you pay Drew.

This is friggin’ ridiculous. I’m going to have to buy a car just because I can’t have reasonable access to my husband. God forbid I ask him to come home at a reasonable hour with a Zipcar in tow so I can take stuff to the church’s sale. What, can I not have a social/spiritual life in addition to not having a husband? Haven’t you evil freaks sucked enough of my life away? You already said he could work from home after Rudy was born/while Newt first displayed symptoms of an autism spectrum disorder, but then you didn’t mean it. Because, the moment you said, “Yes Drew, you may work from home,” you sent HR an email saying that Drew needed to be gotten rid of because of performance issues. Performance issues that didn’t seem to exist a week before he went on paternity leave. And he was only back for 2 weeks when you ran off to HR, and one of those weeks was frappin’ Holy Week, and Drew took 3 vacation days that week.

But that wasn’t good enough. We were not thoroughly kicked while down. You then found it appropriate to give him an “underperformed” rating at his review, in spite of all of the ridiculous hoop-jumping he, and I did (remember hozers, I had to drive him everyday to make sure he wasn’t even 3 minutes late). Who knows how long our car would have lasted had it not driven 100 miles round trip everyday, to that wretched campus twice per day.

So now you are requiring me to:
1. Buy a car so that I can attend church and participate in the various midweek activities (because apparently you disagree with ending the workday before 12.5 hours, especially when picking up a Zipcar is on the post-work agenda).
OR
2. Stop participating in anything at church during Monday-Saturday, since the bus doesn’t run up there on the weekend (and takes 4 buses to get there on a weekday) and continue to use a Zipcar.

Well, since the only reason I still live in this dump and still works for this wretched place is because of church, #2 obviously isn’t a possibility.

I hate you so much, Drew’s work, and the closet-eugenicist, megalomaniac formerly at its helm.

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After giving it some more thought, I’m thoroughly convinced this company would never have asked a mother to stay this late, even if she wasn’t the primary caretaker. Never ever would a mother at Drew’s professional level be asked to put in 12.5 hour long days. Maybe a Director/Executive level, but never as a Grunt.

Posted on November 13th, 2008 by Deedee
Filed under: Life in general | No Comments »

Enjoy your spam, Yinka!

FROM THE DESK OF ENGR YINKA JOHNSON
Chairman, Contracts Award Committee,
Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation,
Falomo Lagos.
Email: yjohnsonjr@jmail.co.za

Dearest friend,

Please give this message a meaningful consideration to the benefit of both of us. I strictly write to solicit for your cooperation to create a conducive environment to keep some funds for future investment after retirement.

I am privileged and highly placed in government as the Chairman of Contracts Award Committee in the Petroleum Ministry, since 2005. During this period, we have successfully awarded various contracts to foreign Companies, of which all the contracts has been completed and commissioned.

In the course of our negotiation with the foreign contractors, 5% of all the contracts awarded were to be set-aside for my Committee, an agreement that we strongly held with the contractors. All the contractors have already received their full payments; our 5% is now in our Company’s dedicated account.

We need a reliable person, to receive this money on our behalf, since our position in government does not allow us to own any foreign bank account until after retirement.

Your urgent response and compliance will be highly appreciated.
NOTE: If this is unacceptable to you, I plead your indulgence to trash this message on receipt, as this requires high level of confidentiality.
Remain blessed.

Yinka Johnson
Chairman,Contracts Award Committee.
Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation.
Email: yjohnsonjr@jmail.co.za

Posted on November 13th, 2008 by Deedee
Filed under: Technological banter | No Comments »

So, a few weeks ago, Newt met the Occupational Therapist who would be conducting his one-on-one occupational therapy sessions. She was able to squeeze him in once per week, but at our second visit last week, she said she now could see him twice a week! Yay! Since Newt’s PDD-NOS dianosis this last summer, it seems he’s been making great strides in development. I joke that the diagnosis has made him get his butt in gear.

Anyway, so in one week, he has Speech Therapy in home, then two sessions of Occupational Therapy at the center, and physical therapy as needed. He’s to wear his SPIO suit and orthotic boots as often as he can, and we’re to do some exercises to increase his hand, arm, shoulder and upper body core strength (wheelbarrows are great for this!). Also, we’re still doing ASL with him, to curb his frustration with lack of verbal skills, and the Signing Time videos have been great for that.

These extra therapy sessions require that I go to the center twice a week. It is a three mile roundtrip walk, which isn’t bad at all, but we live in the Rainy City. My intention is when there is a torrential downpour, I will take a taxi to the center, or have Drew bring a Zipcar to me (depending on budgeting constraints and whether or not there are other errands to run).

All of this extra time in a car accelerates our desire to get new, more portable car seats. Eddie Bauer made a forward facing portable car seat, but their cessation of production has caused a price spike for $69 to $259 on Amazon. Yeah…thanks, but no.

I like the SafeGuard Go Booster, a LATCH-requiring, 5-point harness booster meant for kids 1 and older, forward facing. It’s $199. Beats the new price on Amazon (although not used on eBay, but I know car seats are discouraged from being bought in used condition). I can resell my two Cosco Alpha Omega Carseats for $75 each on Craigslist, and the Graco Turbo High Back Booster for $25, so that’s $175 towards the expense of the SafeGuard Go Boosters. The best feature, although still not good enough for Drew, is that they pack down into a 9″*18″*17″ bag with a strap. Not flat as a pancake like the Eddie Bauer, but the Eddie Bauer tops out at 40 pounds (not big enough for Prue, and Newt weighs 36 pounds). But, this would allow us to all go on the bus, pick up a Zipcar in Seattle at 830am, then make it to church for the 9am study period. This only works if we don’t have to come home to load up car seats (as we’ve been doing, so far).

So, I’m dipping into Dec. DC Trip fun food money to get these seats. These seats will make that trip easier too.
——————————————————————————–
Note: Other items worth investigating for portable kid car travel:
RideSafer Travel Vest

Posted on November 11th, 2008 by Deedee
Filed under: Kids & Kid-related Ranting, Life in general | No Comments »

Someone commented about this excerpt on my niece’s blog. I had not heard this until then. I just hope these 3 folks are not your average voter! I’m worried that isn’t the case.

Posted on November 11th, 2008 by Deedee
Filed under: Life in general | No Comments »

My impression (although, it is more than an impression, as some have been more explicit) is that the world finds my and Drew’s lifestyle…odd.

I’m not talking the Continuing Anglican part; I’ve known that I was in the minority compared to other denominations for a decade!

I’m not talking about the Attachment Parenting/Natural Family Living (in which children are valued members of society who participate with their parents’ lives and are not segregated into their own rooms, schools, or whatever vessel we segregate children with); no, I’ve known we were different in that regard ever since I was told, “Shame on you!” for commenting that with our children co-sleeping in our bedroom, we could sublet a portion of our home to another individual. (For the record, that was at Drew’s mom’s going-away-to-Boston party, where everyone were suburbanites…bleck. And, we ARE going to sublet a portion of this house, just as soon as we finish the two bathrooms and install a crude kitchen downstairs.)

No, the latest disagreement with the world is over the subject of car ownership/usage. I have nothing against using a car, and families owning one car (maybe two if one member of the family works with their vehicle, such as construction, or if you’re in a rural environment with no pubic transportation and long commutes, but otherwise, there’s no sense in two desk jockeys owning two cars). BUT…the world tells you that you are inadequately equipped as a parent without a minivan or SUV. “Shame on the parent who walks their kid to the store!” “Where is that woman’s car?” Let alone what this line of thought says to people of the 3rd world where they manage to raise large families without the aid of a car. Yes, their average lifespan is pretty dire, but I think that has very little to do with access to a car, and more to do with poor hygiene, lack of potable water, and educated medical staff. Also, what does that say to the Americans who HAVE to live without a car because they can’t afford to buy one. Are they less of a person because they can’t throw down 30k on something that will break down in 5 years?

Yesterday, I had to go grocery shopping. Prue and I are sick, but I felt up to riding the bus to the store. So that Drew could get some work done, I wore Rudy in the Beco. I didn’t really want to get delivery from Safeway before our SPUD order came on Thursday, so I decided that Rudy and I would shop for 4 days worth of groceries. I wanted to keep it to 4 bags, and I did. It would have been ideal to have everyone go to the store, but Prue needed to stay at home.

I suppose I looked encumbered. Truthfully, I was, but I didn’t feel like it was completely unmanageable. Had my opinion on that changed, I would have left two bags right there on the sidewalk and come back for them in 30 minutes. Anyway, someone actually stopped in their VW Tuareg, walked down the road to me and offered to give me a hand with the groceries/ride home. I thanked her and her son, but denied the offer. She persisted, I denied. She persisted, I denied. Finally, she offered to carry some just to the corner where our paths would part. Fine, I allowed that. Once to her car, she offered again to take me home; I copped out with not having a car seat, and she understood (what is up with folks being so psycho about car seats, even in taxis and planes?). But, she was fathoming some way to help, so I volunteered, “You may take my groceries up to my house though, if you’re really wanting to help.” She like that, felt useful, and 4 minutes later, she was waving good-bye.

Offering help in that situation was the right thing to do. I appreciate that fact, and am excited that someone left in this world offers help to a lady with 4 huge bags of groceries with a baby strapped to her. But, I do not like being nagged about help offerings mostly because it is because someone doesn’t appreciate my lifestyle, and finds it odd, and materially inadequate. It’s not just pride, although there are folks like that. I did not want help because walking down the road with groceries SHOULD be a perfectly acceptable way to live. It should be perfectly acceptable to forego owning an expensive piece of machinery, who’s use is only necessary on Sundays, when the bus doesn’t run to church. But, it isn’t acceptable to your average, materialistic America. I’m obviously in dire need of assistance because we do not own a car. I disliked the extreme look of “pitiful thing doesn’t have a car”. The look should have been, “Crazy pack mule should have shopped for only 2 days.”

Drew and I know that our freakish love of a simplified life creeps everyone out. Everytime we talk about trying to get a living space under 1000 square feet, we’re entitled to some moronic comment of how we couldn’t possibly raise a growing family in that small of a space. Then, we usually get some anecdote of how this particular person couldn’t live in such a small space. Well, I’m sorry that most materialistic Americans can’t appreciate a small living space. I’m sorry that your parents and their 8 siblings grew up in some ramshackle shack and couldn’t wait to bust out of that thing and buy a McMansion. That sounds more like a character flaw than a point of pride, but my treasure is somewhere else…

I’m sorry to Drew for blowing up at you over this whole thing. I was left feeling subhuman, after the experience, and I hate that the one reason I can’t afford to take an occasional taxi in a situation like that is because our budget is tighter than a drum. I hate that our budget wouldn’t be so tight if we had never moved here. I hate that we had to move here because we blew every dime we had on materialistic crap trying to find happiness, during those two sad and depressing years in DC. And, most of all, I hate that we ever left the affordable economy of Tallahassee over the dream of multi-generational living. We’ve been playing a game of catch-up since then. Things are so much better now, financially, than it was even a year ago. But, it was too harsh to blow up at you, yesterday.

…How did we get things better, financially? Simple living. Not using credit to get things (like a car or furniture). Living with some rooms just being empty for lack of things with which to fill it. It will take 4 times longer to undo all of this than it did to make it, but the lesson probably wouldn’t be learned if it was easy.

Now, if only I could learn that sometimes, you will never hear an apology. Such as times where you uproot your whole life (3 month old baby included) over a dream that will be shattered in two short days. Or, in times where someone convinces you to kill your own child for their dreams.

The lesson all men need to learn: “DON’T BE SELFISH! ACTUALLY DO ALL OF THE THINGS THAT YOU PROMISE YOU WILL DO!

Everyone in America needs a little more fortitude and perseverance to fulfill their responsibilities. Promised someone marriage until death? Well, if you’re not dead, you’re still married and you better find a way to be chaste. Knocked someone up when you weren’t married? Do right by this person that you’re (apparently) okay with having sex with, yet, not okay marrying. I say that your procedures are in the wrong order on that one.

Y’all work on those for awhile, and I’ll work on being a little less misanthropic. In my defense, it would be unboundedly easier if I didn’t live in a state that thinks it’s okay to kill terminally ill people and unborn babies. The consistent life ethic is just upholding natural law. Don’t kill anyone: unborn, criminal, militaristic, or terminally ill!!

That’s all I’m asking from this crappy place.

Posted on November 10th, 2008 by Deedee
Filed under: Life in general | 7 Comments »